I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
