Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
