it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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