Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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