May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
