You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
