Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
