his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
