I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
