I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
