You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
