I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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