"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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