it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
