she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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