Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize