whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
