Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
