So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
