belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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