Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The power of my boobs compel you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
