did you get engaged???
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
