Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
