The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
