I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
