spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
