i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
