so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
