I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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