I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
