what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
