She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
