I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
