i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
