please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
