Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
