I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
