I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
