after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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