honey bunches of taint.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
