I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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