THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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