Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
