i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
