there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sober January is a disaster.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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