Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
