Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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