So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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