I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
