i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
