i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
