Yo dont text me then not text me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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