two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
