were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
